“Be Yourself” = the worst advice ever.

It’s just too vague. It’s like telling someone, just be mature. Or just be confident.

Just be sexy.

Just be open-minded. Just be joyful.

See, if they’re not already feeling these things in that moment, then offering this simplified advice to people won’t ever work.

Seriously, try telling an angry person, Just be happy! ….no workie. It works for a happy person though.

For someone who’s already confident, it’s easy to tell someone else to just be confident, but it’s terrible advice!

Here’s why. Being yourself, being confident, being mature or sexy or open-minded or joyful aren’t things that you do. They’re states of being. And these specific states of being happen as a result of taking specific actions.

Being yourself happens when you KNOW WHO YOU ARE first, when your values are clear, and when you’re relaxed enough to take actions in alignment with your thoughts and words. And there are several different selves inside of you, so being yourself in one situation may look totally different in another situation.

Being mature happens when you’re able to recognize highly emotional events for what they are and properly managing your actions and emotions around these events.

The next time someone comes around with a coy, self-righteous smile on his face and says, “Just be yourself.” Tell them, “that is unhelpful advice. Go figure out what you’re trying to say and come back when you’ve come up with something more specific. I’ll be waiting for you. Thanks”

Or you can always just say, “You’re an idiot.”

And then when they get mad, tell them, “Just be happy!”

Good Advice
Good Advice (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden (book review)

In the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden expertly explains what is self-esteem, what it is not, why we need it, and how we can get more of it.


He also writes particularly about why and how the concept has been so misunderstood and the many myths surrounding what it really is, and how true self-esteem is so vital to modern day existence.┬áThe book is so much more than simple platitudes or affirmations intended to “fire you up” or “get you thinking positive.” He sets forth in the book tools and concepts for a true foundation on which to build a happier, more fulfilled life.


The whole book blew my mind from the beginning to the end. It is filled with PROFOUND insights and simple, reasoned-out truths and concepts that I am able to easily integrate into my daily conscious living especially because he includes many simple exercises in the book for this type of practical integration and application.


I’ve actually included one of his ten-minute consciousness exercises into my daily routine that I’ll be doing for probably at least a year. And I don’t just include stuff in my schedule lightly.


For a new perspective on yourself and what you might be hiding from yourself without even realizing it, pick this one up ASAP.


It is ridiculously enlightening.


English: Pillars