The Balance Between Yes and No

It’s tough to find that balance. Balance is where the juice is.

Where do you draw the line between compassion and strict boundaries?

For example, when someone asks you to do something for them, what makes you choose to do the favor or not?

On the one hand, you could decide, “At this time, I’ve got XYZ going on, which is more important than what you’ve asked me to do for you.”

On the other hand, you could decide that the thing that the other person has asked your help for is more important.

Simple, yet this type of scenario comes up for people time and time again. Most people never analyze it. They might say, “Oh, you’re over-thinking it!”

But then these same people who accuse you over over-thinking are often torn between saying yes or no to someone because don’t know what their own boundaries are! They don’t know and it’s going to stress them out to try to come up with their boundaries on the spot, under pressure.

That’s why you take time to figure out your priorities and your values. You list them and write them down. You order them from most important to less important. And you review them often.

Your values and priorities are like rules of the game. The clearer you are on them, the simpler the game will be. You get to use your willpower for other things.

Knowing and understanding your values is also called maturity. Knowing and keeping your boundaries is what I call being “cool.” “Cool people” know their values, their priorities, too, and they aren’t afraid of sticking to them.

So know thyself. Know thy values. Know the game.

Now who’s ready to play?

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