“Speak To Me How I Want To Be Spoken To!” (On Pet Peeves)


I noticed I’ve had long held, high expectations on the communication style of others. My dad told me for years that I needed to chill out about that. When my close friends starting pointing it out, too, I started to pay a little more attention.

Imprecision of language has been a pet-peeve of mine for a while. But what has made the most difference for me to start letting go of such high expectations on the communication of others has been to notice that sometimes I completely screw it up, too. That and the fact that we’re all going to die.

Life has a peculiar way of humbling us, no matter how high we might rise at times. And that’s ok.

In fact, ultimately, it’s all ok.

Whether you’ve given it much thought or not, we all have a gun to our heads. We all have a 100% chance of dying. We probably don’t know when it’s going to happen, but we know it’s going to happen.

And in light of our impending death, a misplaced word or a lack of correlation between what is said vs what is meant, well, these things start to hold less charge for me.

In different ways, most of us seem to pardon transgressions a bit more easily as we become more intimate with our impending death.

It’s largely our impending death that gives life it’s urgency.

Largely, it’s death that actually makes life so valuable.

We’re allowed to have pet peeves, of course, but are they more important than connection or losing touch with our compassion?

I’m not saying let’s not strive for excellence–far from it. Excellence is our creed and duty.

But we all fuck it up from time to time. Sometimes we get tired or sad or just feel so damn small, and out of this pain we might react disproportionately, or we just don’t get it perfect somehow.

The driver who “cut you off” (these are charged words already)… Maybe he feels like a fuck-up deep down and is desperately trying to feel important. Who knows? This doesn’t mean we excuse wrongful behavior, but how about extending a little grace now and again? Is that so hard?

These distinctions can be hard to draw and define, but nonetheless, let’s do what we can do and PRACTICE!

We’ve all got our little pet peeves. You know yours!

Remember, the world is a reflection of you.

And last time I checked, the reflection of compassion looked better than the reflection of righteousness.



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