Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Cialdini Commentary + Video

CASE IN POINT! The psychology of persuasion as Robert Cialdini writes about JUST FREAKING HAPPENED! As I was packing up my tripod after recording this, a group of 4 well dressed people was passing by. I told them, “You just missed being famous!”

And to my surprise they all stopped and stared at me. One man said, “What do you mean?”

So I told them I read books and record videos about them and post them online and that they could have gotten a spot in it but they were just a hair too late.

I was joking, by the way.

The guys asks, “What’s your website?”

I told him. He said he’d check it out. We bid each other farewell.

The funny thing is, I was totally joking around with them at first, but this situation clearly demonstrated the 6th principle of Influence: SCARCITY!

We hate missing out!

And when I told them they had just missed out, I wasn’t intentionally trying to get them interested in what I was doing, I just said it as a joke and then almost instantly realized how I had just used one of the most compelling principles of influence.

Wow! That was powerful.

I hope y’all all read the book and become a little wiser to the world of compliance, and a little bit less easy to trick into complying to something that might not be your best choice.

You can pick up a copy here.

Peace, Love & Grass Fed Butter,

Aaron

Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor Frankl Commentary + Video

 

 

Not by any stretch of the imagination am I comparing my suffering to the suffering endured by Victor Frankl and other holocaust victims.

However, there are parallels to suffering in general, and Victor Frankl’s perspective can apply greatly to our lives today, because whether we appear to have every possible comfort in life or to be deprived of every comfort in life, we can still be suffering regardless.

There’s so much wisdom to be gained from people like Frankl who endured so much and survived.

The 3 main ways he proposes we can find meaning in life:
1. Through our work
2. Through experiences (like loving someone or observing a beautiful sunset)
3. Through necessary suffering

I was also pleased to discover from the book that the German philosopher Nietzsche was attributed as the first to say, “That which does not kill me makes me stronger.” It wasn’t Kanye West.

You can pick up a copy of the book here.

Love,

Aaron

“The Game” by Neil Strauss Review + Video

At some point in our lives, however briefly, all men are pick up artists.

Some men will unconsciously learn from a young age what makes women tick, and they’ll grow up pre-selected by women, never really struggling with dates or sex. These guys are called the “naturals.”

Some men never bother to learn at all, and many of these guys will still “luck out,” find a woman, and manage to pop out a couple kids during their lifetime.

And then there are the self-proclaimed pick up artists, like me.

For better or for worse, there exists a very real subculture of men who at some point, usually during our youth, we lost our way when it came to being naturally attractive to women.

Many of us come from deep wounding, from not feeling loved or lovable, from pathological sexual repression and shame.

Many of us felt neglected, abandoned and betrayed until the pain got deep enough and we got desperate enough to do something–anything–about it.

That’s my story anyway.

And it’s a common one.

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss was one of my favorite reads of all time.

It’s the story of a hopelessly loveless and sexless dude who discovers this secret society of men who through the study of part art, part science have dedicated their lives and, in many cases, their livelihood to mastering the art of seduction.

The book came out a full 10 years ago, and I’m slightly ashamed I’ve put off reading it until now. I would say that instead of reading the book, I’ve actually been going out to meet women (which is true), but I really don’t have any valid excuses.

It’s an awesome book, a fascinating story, and I’d say it’s at least 95% true.

I’m familiar with most of the pick up artists mentioned in the book, and I’ve met Tyler Durden on a few occassions. I took one of his Hot Seat programs a few years ago and saw him in Las Vegas last year.

So if you haven’t already ordered a copy of the book, do yourself a favor and read through it. You can grab a copy here.

One important caveat is that the book is now 10 years old, and “The Game” as it’s known and evangelized in the “pickup community” has changed from one more generally focused on seduction, canned routines and lines, to one much more centered around attraction.

Great pick up artists understand that attracting high quality women into our lives for the long term isn’t about seducing women. Attracting high quality women into our lives is simply the product of becoming high quality, naturally attractive men.

As David DeAngelo said 15 years ago, “Attraction is not a choice.”

But I’ll add that becoming more attractive IS a choice.

And a high quality, naturally attractive man is built, not born.

My life (and the lives of many of my friends) have been transformed through studying success.

And I’m not going to pretend that I’m studying success in business but not studying success in other areas of my life where I have desires.

Who has energy for pretense anymore anyway?

If you’ve got some goals and dreams, maybe you’ve had for a while, and you’re ready to stop procrastinating on achieving them, head over to the Life Coaching page, fill out the application for a free introductory session, and I’ll be in touch with you soon.

Aaron

 

Imagine Your Body As A Business Organization, And YOU Are The CEO

fallavlIMG_1103

Everybody wants the gold. Everybody wants the resources to travel freely, to eat at the best restaurants, to soak up the sun on the beach without a care in the world.

Everybody wants it!

If you deny that you wouldn’t love to have tons of resources right at your fingertips, then you’re kidding yourself. The specific things that you want are likely different from the specific things that I want, but we all want abundant RESOURCES and RESOURCEFULNESS. And we all have dreams and desires, however varying those dreams and desires might be from person to person.

Sadly, one of the greatest hindrances we encounter in realizing our dreams is that we often don’t allow ourselves to fully feel the intensity of desire we have for them, pretending and convincing ourselves that if we don’t really want it, then maybe it won’t hurt as bad if we don’t get it. Low expectation, low disappointment, right?

We can deny our truest, deepest desires because we might reason: how badly would it hurt if we really allowed ourselves to feel the full intensity of those desires but never get them?

But who would turn down more resourcefulness, more abundance? Who in their right mind would turn down a real, actual no-strings-attached $100,000 check? No sane person would.

See, it’s helpful to understand that money is just energy once removed. Money is a physical representation (or often a digital representation) of how much we have helped other people.

Tai Lopez calls money “reciprocal altruism units” or RAUs. The basic philosophy here is that when we do something nice for someone, they give us money, as a physical certificate showing how much value we traded for those RAUs. It’s an idea also heavily popularized by Rabbi Daniel Lapin in his practical book Thou Shalt Prosper.

But money ain’t free, is it?

Well, the US government and the federal reserve seem to think so or at least act like it is, but for us, the people who don’t have the guns or the twisted sense of morality to forcibly take money from others, money ain’t free. (And yes, that’s another whole discussion.)

People get money by serving people.

(See a previous article I wrote here on Money & Happiness.)

The more and better we serve others, the more money we get in return.

So here’s a simple first step for acting more like a CEO in order to have more resources like a successful CEO (and not just monetary resources): Become the CEO of your body.

Your body is the instrument through which you can serve others. Your body is the organism that holds your energy, which is your capacity to move and act and LISTEN to other people. Your body is the constellation through which you interact with the world.

And your relationship with your body determines your relationship with others. You are limited in your connection with others by the limits of your connection with yourself. (Read that last sentence again.)

As Deepak Chopra says in The Book of Secrets, “The universe is in you.”

Now, imagine your body as a business organization.

Your body has hundreds of different parts, even trillions of parts at the cellular level.

And YOU are the CEO.

And your job is to take care of your organization. If you don’t take care of your organization, as the CEO, what’s going to happen to it? It’s going to fall apart! So in order for your organism to function optimally, you’ve got to make sure that each member is doing it’s job, that it has what it needs to do it’s job, and that each member is being heard properly and also held in balance and in check with proper accountability. Don’t let any one member take over the show. You’re the CEO.

Now, imagine a business organization where several important members really had some important messages to say to the rest of the company, but the CEO wouldn’t allow them to speak.

In this case, there would probably be some turmoil in the business, right?

Our emotions can often be like these muted members of the organization. If we don’t allow ourselves to listen to each part of ourselves, then our organization is not going to be cooperating. It will be more of an oligarchy or dictatorship than a coherent, successfully operating culture.

Which type of organization is going to last longer and be more effective? A dictatorship where the members of the body/business are subjected to whatever the “ruler” decides, or a more democratic organization where each member of the body gets a voice, gets to be heard, gives its message?

Now, again, this doesn’t mean we allow any one member to take over our organization.

Here’s one crucial piece of this which is easy to misunderstand: You are not your thinking mind.

YOU are something beyond your thinking mind.

Don’t let your mind be the autocrat of your organism. Because it will if you let it.

YOU are the awareness that inhabits your body and can listen to your thinking mind, if you so choose. You are the CEO who recognizes the importance of the thinking mind, but doesn’t allow it to run the show.

You, the aware CEO, can also listen to your heart.

And to your guts.

And to your fingertips, and hands, arms, shoulders, neck, eyes, ears, nose, feet, toes, legs, knees, hips, genitals, chest, nervous system, electromagnetic sensors, etc.

You’ve got a lot of parts in your organism.

And they’ve all got messages at different times. Don’t let any one part take over the show, especially not your thinking mind, which LOVES to take over the show and pretend it’s the CEO.

You–your awareness–that’s the part of you that is most YOU, and that’s the part you can think of as the CEO.

So with this understanding and metaphor, the next step is to cultivate more intimacy with all the parts of your organism/organization, so that you can be a more effective, resourceful CEO. You’ve got to get in there and balance things out.

Not in a despotic way, but in a compassionate, perhaps lovingly and fatherly way.

And you begin to do this better by listening better. You practice listening, because listening is a practice.

Listen to your organism, your organization, your constellation of beautiful parts. Hear the messages. Let the members of your body speak to you for as long as they need to.

 

Here’s a simple meditation for you to practice listening better, so that you can cultivate more awareness and therefore more resourcefulness, more abundance and more compassionate CEO-ness.

Sit or lie down comfortably, and begin to place your awareness on different members of your organism.

Feel your awareness in your stomach, in your guts. Let your awareness rest there, slowly beginning to notice what sensations are there in your guts.

And just notice.

If you’re paying attention, what you’ll probably notice is that you’ll start to have some thoughts.

Don’t beat yourself up about it, remember: you’re the compassionate CEO.

Just recognize that you’ve had a thought and that the thought isn’t you, and bring your awareness back down to your stomach.

And do this process over and over again. Your mind will give you thoughts, and you’ll notice this, and bring your awareness back to your stomach. And you do this over and over again. Awareness expansion, notice the thought, come back to awareness.

After doing this for a few minutes, bring your awareness to your heart.

Feel the sensations in your heart. “Listen” to them. Often when I’m doing this, really becoming aware of my heart, I feel some pain there, but also love.

Whatever is there, especially if it’s pain, be with that pain as much as you can, as if you’re being with a distraught child who’s hurt, holding the pain in the compassionate embrace of your awareness. Do your best to not get lost in it or indulge in it, or allow it to masquerade as you. Remember that YOU are something beyond the feeling. Ideally, you have the feeling, the feeling doesn’t have you.

And as your thoughts come in, simply notice this and bring your awareness back to your heart, your guts, your legs, your arms, the rest of your body that is likely crying out for some compassionate listening. Your body that wants so badly to be heard.

I do this for 20 minutes every day, rarely missing a day.

It’s a simple meditation, in the vein of what’s commonly known as Vipassana meditation, if you want to research it more on your own.

What you’re doing here is cultivating your awareness. You’re taking care of your body organism by compassionately listening to it. And as one of my life coaches often says, “ABC–Awareness Brings Choice.” The more choices you have, the more resources you have.

And as you consistently listen to your body, you might start to notice that your body–all parts of your organism–are on your side. Each part, when held in compassion and balance is an important member that has messages for you to take into account, so that you can operate more effectively and resourcefully.

“In an abundance of counsel, there is great wisdom.” -Hebrew Proverb

So listen to the wisdom of your body.

Each individual part might not be telling the whole story–by definition, it’s not telling the whole story. But by taking its counsel and listening to its message, you will be more aware of what is really going on in your “organization.”

You’ll have more resources.

And from this place of more resources, you’ll be better prepared to meet life’s challenges.

You’ll also likely have more energy! Because when your body is operating on all cylinders, like a healthy V-8 engine, it’s going to have more power, more capacity to move and get things done in the world.

I challenge you to start acting more like a compassionate CEO. After all, you are the owner of a massive, complex organismization. (That’s your new word for the day 😉 )

And the better you start listening to your whole organization, listening to the counsel of the different members, the more they’ll love you–they more they’ll love being a part of the organization, and the more they’ll give back to you. AND, the more you’ll be able to listen better to other people. So that you can hear between their words, and maybe even deeper than they can even hear themselves sometimes. And when we can hear others deeply, we can also serve them more powerfully. We can help them  more!

So stay with the practice.

Do you think you could try this for a week? 15-20 minutes a day listening deeply to your personal organismization?

If you want to give it a shot, I’d love to hear about your experience with it and what you notice–whatever you notice.

Let me know in the comments section below if you’re going to take on this challenge, or if you’ve already been practicing something similar, and what effect it has has on you.

And if you’d like me to coach you through some of these simple practices, head over to the page Life Coaching, and drop me a line!

In love and service,

Aaron