We Can Feel The Intentions Of Others

I’ve gotten frustrated with the self-help crowd, especially the “new-agey” type for giving frequent, automatic and highly UNhelpful advice to me and others in the past.

When we just tell a motherfucker to “open your heart” or “be yourself,” sure, it’s a great opportunity to pat ourselves on the back for being a guru.

But truthfully, this type of advice is coming from a terribly unhelpful guru.

A great teacher knows when his students are not understanding him. A great teacher also stays with his students UNTIL THEY UNDERSTAND.

It took me years to understand what “open your heart” meant, and for the sake of anyone else who hasn’t understood it yet, what it means is simply placing awareness on your own heart.

Feel the sensations around your physical heart by tuning in to that area. In a similar way that you would become aware of any other part of your body, simply place your attention on it and notice the sensations.

When you notice the sensations in and around your heart, you’re on the way to “opening your heart.” It’s about being aware of the physical sensations around your heart.

Boom. Three small paragraphs. Not hard… and, by the way, if you still have questions, drop me a line or comment below and I’m happy to continue the conversation.

If a teacher feigns that YOU don’t understand what he or she is trying to explain, it’s not YOUR fault. It’s on the teacher to teach. If you’re not understanding, then the teacher is not doing his job.

I remember one professor in college who was particularly difficult when it came to exams. I heard multiple classmates say, “He’s just so smart that he doesn’t know how to explain it to us.” That’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard.

I argue that if you can’t explain something to someone else, you probably don’t understand it all that well yourself.

Here’s what I wanted to write here from the beginning: I’ve learned something new and personally profound:

We can feel other people’s intentions.

I don’t hear people talking about this. People don’t say it so concisely.

I can usually feel your intentions.

An intention is what someone is wanting, behind what they may be saying or projecting or doing.

It’s highly unlikely we’ve got each other all figured out, as so often those with little social experience assume they do.

By the way, if you haven’t approached thousands of people to have conversations and to try to sell them something and/or to have sex with them, you’re probably in what I would call the “little social experience” category.

Massive social experience changes us. We can start seeing the patterns. We can start feeling the patterns, and the intentions and even the energy fields around people.

Notice what you imagine might be the intentions of those with whom you interact this week. If you really want to take it to the next level, get curious and ask them if what you’re sensing is true or not.

Notice whether you believe their answer or not.

One other fundamental lesson I’ve been re-learning this week I want to highlight here: Your opinion of yourself is the most important one. Other people often project their shit onto you, even when they “know you well.”

Remember to have compassion on people, and notice without having to react.

Most importantly, cultivate self-compassion, because how you treat yourself is how you treat the world.

Love,

Aaron

February Blues And Staying ALIVE

dead tree

I feel like such a hypocrite writing these posts sometimes. “Impostor syndrome” I’ve heard it called.

Fucking ALIVE.

Awareness
Love
Integrity
Vitality
Excellence

All the things I most want, my highest values, my priorities, my truth. And I feel so far away from them so often. They say we teach what we most need to learn.

And so we persist. Gravitating towards the edges of what we recognize as most nearly real and sustainably pleasurable.

All this energy in our heads serves us well until it doesn’t anymore. Until we realize that our above-average intelligence is a by-product of feeling unsafe in our bodies. The underlying story: “My body is not safe, so I’ll refocus awareness in my head where I can figure things out.”

But that’s not working so well anymore.

What I hate sometimes is that it takes so much energy to heal.

It takes energy to heal.

I’ve paid thousands of dollars over the last few years to begin seriously healing. (Money ~ Energy –in case you hadn’t gotten that one yet.) I’ve invested LOADS of time into practicing healing.

I feel sad and hopeless when I think of my friends whom I doubt will win the battle. I imagine they’ll die before they realize they’ve mis-invested their energy. Better luck next life, I guess.

The truth is I’m bitter against my creator for setting it all up this way. Why did you make it so damn hard!? Did I want it this way? Did I really ask for this? Maybe I was so fucking bored with whatever I was doing before that I dreamed up this new “challenge mode” to play. Goddammit.

But at least we have each other. And we have a shot. I’ve been hopeless before, and I’m not hopeless in this moment. The whole world now seems to be teetering on the edge of the point of no return. What’s that physics term they use? Total capacity? Breaking point? Melt down? I don’t remember.

Oh yeah, “critical mass.”

Either way, death is probably just a new beginning.

It’s February again, could you tell? Fucking February.

This is the longest I’ve gone without alcohol or weed since I first used the substances in college.

I know the only way out is through. It’s the lesson I’ve been learning the last few years.

But god dammit it’s the patience part that sucks.

A dream here, a voice there. A few days of release followed by weeks of silence. A burst of anger, lost friends, several new friends who might not walk away when I show them my pain. #blessed.

I forgive you for turning your back on me. It hurt, but I needed the practice with the pain. And it’s all for the best, right?

All is well.

And it’s probably just February.

Love,

Aaron