The Perfect Life Coach

Sometimes I feel shame about being human. It’s so messy to be human. There are all these emotions and needs and stories… not to mention biological needs like eating and pooping. Or, probably the messiest part of being human–having sex and making babies (full disclosure: no babies for me yet). It’s all one big fat mess!And then there are all the stages of development, at which any point one can get sidetracked and lost in psychopathology and neurosis.
We are interminably developing, evolving and transforming.
Will we ever be readier to share ourselves, our stories and our experiences than we are right now?
This question, and the questions around my own perfection or lack thereof have been some of my most difficult personal questions.
As with many of these moral and existential questions, it helps to begin with a definition.
According to


1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type

 2. excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement
Will we ever arrive at a place where improvement is no longer possible
Yes and no. It depends on how we define improvement.
If growth is improvement, then the answer is no. Because we will all be learning and growing for the rest of our lives to varying degrees.
If we’re not growing, then we’re dead or dying.
However, if growth is simply the healthy expression of our state of existence, then growth is not an improvement at all, and that means we are already perfect.
Already perfect.
I love the sound of that.
There is so much more ease and love and potential for growth in that knowing. There is an appreciation for what already is without denying the inevitable growth that we are experiencing in the moment and throughout our lives.
To bring this into a more practical and less conceptual framework, I’ll give a personal example.
Lately, I’ve procrastinated making these vlogs because there are SO MANY THINGS I could be doing to prepare myself to be even more ready, even more developed and “grown” than I am right now.
I am highly aware that what I’m creating now, these blogs and videos are a reflection of what I’m learning now, and in a few short years I may disagree with some important parts of what I’m now proffering.
It’s happened before. If you go back and look at my first posts from a few years ago, MUCH has changed for me, and there are things I’ve written I’m no longer certain are true.
So if we will always be growing, does this mean that we are never perfect? If we will always want MORE than we have now, does this mean that we never have enough now?
Let’s just go ahead and admit that we are already perfect and stop wasting time pretending we’re not. The reality of growth is not evidence for a lack of perfection.
This comes down to creating the confidence to express ourselves authentically, to share of ourselves–our thoughts and emotions–and also being confident in others that they can and will decide for themselves what to take and what to discard.
That’s really all we ever can do.
Here’s something I believe that may be controversial: I think it would be great if everyone became a “life coach.”
The reason why is that, first of all, life coaching isn’t about knowing more than someone else or being more excellent than someone else. Life coaching is about listening deeply to another human (with our whole body) and asking curious questions in service of cultivating awareness around what is really present in that person’s bodymind, then having the capacity to leverage that awareness to create any change that person may want.
It’s challenging to become a life coach when we take responsibility for what we are creating and how we may be leading others, and this challenge can work to refine ourselves and grow ourselves greatly.
Also, as a certified life coach who has many friends who are life coaches, take it from me when I tell you: life coaches are extraordinarily ordinary people.
And we’re all in the same messy boat together.
We get to do this beautiful thing with each other where we serve another’s self-discovery, growth, cultivation of awareness and highest good.
Self-discovery is so beautiful. It allows us to find our deeper and higher resting place from which we are more powerful, more energized than we ever thought possible, and from which we can serve humanity ever more greatly.

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