Yes, You’re Scared. That’s OK.

You do it because you give yourself no other option.

You do it despite the thousands of thoughts streaming by in your head telling you not to.

You do it because given the alternative, you’ve learned to prefer this side of pain.

So you take a deep breath. You exhale slowly.

You knock on that door. You talk to that client. You take that risk. You risk NOT getting the result you’re looking for.

You risk making someone else feel negative emotions. (<–that’s a big one for me!)

You risk looking stupid.

And sometimes all of that comes true.

And sometimes you get exactly what you want.

Usually, it turns out that that thing you got–it was exactly what you were focusing on.

What are you focusing on?

What would need to happen in order for you to realize you care less about the failure than you do about the success?

Love,

Aaron

Knocking on Poe's Door
Knocking on Poe’s Door (Photo credit: edenpictures)

The World is a Reflection of You!

However you view yourself, that is how you will view the world, and vice versa!

If you think the world sucks, then you may have not yet admitted that you feel the same way about yourself.

Now, just because you FEEL this way, doesn’t mean that it must be permanent.

In fact,  according to a lot of the newest research, feelings/emotions only really last for around 4 seconds.

Feelings FEEL like that’s all there will ever be while they’re happening, but, of course, they always give way to new feelings.

So recognize all this for what it is.

You feelings/emotions are a message.

They’re a direct response based on your current interpretation of events. And you will be held accountable for what you “know.”

For example, if I “Know” that I should be doing my homework and studying for a big test coming up, but I’m choosing NOT to do this, there’s probably no way I’ll feel at my peak emotional enjoyment state.

I can try to pretend that nothing is wrong or that it’s not that important, but deep down, your emotions always tell the truth based on what you believe.

So accept it! Accept your emotions right where they’re at, because they are exactly the emotions/feelings you should be feeling right now based on your current interpretation of the world.

And remember to keep learning and growing and surrounding yourself with people who already have the results you’re looking for.

Because it could be that your current “interpretation” of circumstances and “reality” is the problem—–not the emotions.

Love,

Aaron

Unsexy Actions Lead to Sexy Results

It’s not sexy to sit here and come up with a topic for my blog tonight.

It’s not sexy to study grammar and look up new words in the dictionary.

It might SOUND sexy to meditate every day for 20 minutes, but when it comes to actually DOING it, EVERY FUCKING DAY, I’ll clear it up for you: it’s NOT sexy.

It’s not sexy to spend HOURS reading books every week.

It’s not sexy to spend another 15 minutes every morning writing 24 endings to sentence stems in order to increase your consciousness and self-esteem.

It’s not sexy to invest years into learning how to run a business and painstakingly trying different angles in order to get a little edge on the competition.

It’s NOT sexy to go out and meet new girls every night of your life. (OK, some nights are sexier than others).

It’s not sexy to PUT IN YOUR TIME.

It SEEMS sexy to go out and inebriate yourself, and fuck around, watch movies, do coke, and be up on the latest episode of Game of Thrones.

But unless you DO THE WORK that no one else wants to do, you won’t be sexy for long. You’ll get old. And then your life will suck.

So here’s to doing the right thing.

Here’s to SUCKING THE DICK of doing the right thing.

And here’s to the long-term result of being sexier than all of you fuckers who won’t.

All You Need is Love

“All ya need is love, love, love….”

And it’s true!

Except for when it’s not.

Love can no more exist without fear, than hot can exist without cold.

Ultimately, love is something that you DO by making a conscious choice to focus on your own and others’ gifts, by accepting that whatever is, is perfect (even the desire to change as being perfect), and by choosing to guard our compassion. Because love is an action, a verb, now it means something.

It’s not enough to choose to love the “good” parts. Because without the “bad” parts, we wouldn’t even be aware that there were good parts! The contrast provides the choice. The choice provides the responsibility. The responsibility is the foundation of Autonomy, and autonomy is freedom. When you’re free (and your mind is always free) you’re responsible for your own decisions/choices. And that means that your choices matter. Your choices have meaning, significance, and implications for good and/or bad feelings resulting to yourself and others.

Again, everything is perfect, just as it is, even your desire to change.

So all you need is to CHOOSE love, and at the same time, be grateful that choice exists.

That choice is what gives love power.

Without that choice, we’d just be circuits and breakers.

However, it’s a lot harder to put all of that ^^^ into a song!

What You Resist Persists

It can be extremely counter-intuitive, but, it’s one of the most profound quotes I’ve heard in my life. It actually comes from Taoist philosophy.

For example, John Selby, in his book Quiet Your Mind talks about one of the most common ways that people become phobic and afraid or dogs, airplanes, or any number of situations or scenarios, is by allowing their mind to BEGIN the “movie in their head” of the dog biting them, or the airplane crashing, but they immediately RESIST that fear and try to stop the movie. He goes on to explain that when we allow ourselves to actually play out the entire scenario, with the dog ripping our head off, or the plane going down and an explosive death resulting, that our mind can finally realize that that feared situation is highly unlikely, and maybe even a bit humorous when we think about it and the reality. Therefore, once our mind recognizes that the feared scenario is so ridiculous, especially after repeating the same scenario ALL THE WAY TO THE MOST FEARED CIRCUMSTANCE in our heads, our mind also recognizes that there is no longer a need to resist the fear, and like magic, the fear dissipates.

Another common example:

A man sees an attractive woman and is interested, so he starts to approach her. But on his way over to her, he realizes that he doesn’t do this often so his mind tries to think of all the possible scenarios and, inevitably, most if not all of those scenarios are negative. He resists the negative thoughts, but instead of going away, they become stronger. The negative thoughts want to be heard now that he’s dedicating all this energy to resisting them! And, of course, he creeps her out because he’s using so much energy to resist the negative scenarios in his head that he is unable to be present to the moment and express his true self.

If the man hadn’t resisted the thoughts, what would have happened? Well, he’d allow the thoughts to pass through him, accepting them exactly for what they were, just thoughts, nothing more, and when he makes it over to the woman, he’s accepted whatever scenario may happen, he’s relaxed and present, and is able to express himself and have a positive interaction. After the couple hit it off, they start dating, eventually marry, and have a kid who becomes president of the United States.

Ok, well, maybe not that, but everybody loves a happy ending.

So when life is throwing you shit, which life will inevitably do, say yes to it. Just say, ok shit, I acknowledge you for what you are, I welcome you. And magically, the problems more often than not turn into way less of a big deal. They don’t necessarily disappear right away, but now you’re relaxed, you have all your mental resources since you’re not wasting most of your precious energy resisting the problems!

What you resist persists.

So welcome it. Whatever it may be for you.

Welcome it in this moment right now. Not forever, just for this one moment.

Breathe into it.

You’ll be surprised by what happens.

What is your greatest gift?

Green Orchid Bee (Euglossa dilemma)
Green Orchid Bee (Euglossa dilemma) (Photo credit: bob in swamp)

 

It’s one of the most important questions you can ask yourself.

 

If you know it, you have everything. If you’re not sure, your whole life will follow and reflect that uncertainty.

 

It’s the purpose for which you were born. And when you’re creating this specific value in the essentially unique way that only YOU can really create, only then will you feel peace.

 

Fear and uncertainty are the gates and walls that surround this path. They are as much a part of the journey as the peace and love that flows out of you when you are one with your passion. Fear points you in the right direction. Uncertainty nods that you are indeed in the right place.

 

The other option is to sedate yourself. You can accept what others believe on the basis that they can’t all be wrong.

 

Asking too many questions might scare people. People might get uncomfortable if you explore non-traditional questions and ways of being.

 

No one will feel uncomfortable if you don’t venture outside of what they think you’re supposed to be. If you just follow orders, everyone around you will be happy.

 

Except for you.

 

You’ll be dead inside.

“Be Yourself” = the worst advice ever.

It’s just too vague. It’s like telling someone, just be mature. Or just be confident.

Just be sexy.

Just be open-minded. Just be joyful.

See, if they’re not already feeling these things in that moment, then offering this simplified advice to people won’t ever work.

Seriously, try telling an angry person, Just be happy! ….no workie. It works for a happy person though.

For someone who’s already confident, it’s easy to tell someone else to just be confident, but it’s terrible advice!

Here’s why. Being yourself, being confident, being mature or sexy or open-minded or joyful aren’t things that you do. They’re states of being. And these specific states of being happen as a result of taking specific actions.

Being yourself happens when you KNOW WHO YOU ARE first, when your values are clear, and when you’re relaxed enough to take actions in alignment with your thoughts and words. And there are several different selves inside of you, so being yourself in one situation may look totally different in another situation.

Being mature happens when you’re able to recognize highly emotional events for what they are and properly managing your actions and emotions around these events.

The next time someone comes around with a coy, self-righteous smile on his face and says, “Just be yourself.” Tell them, “that is unhelpful advice. Go figure out what you’re trying to say and come back when you’ve come up with something more specific. I’ll be waiting for you. Thanks”

Or you can always just say, “You’re an idiot.”

And then when they get mad, tell them, “Just be happy!”

Good Advice
Good Advice (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden (book review)

In the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden expertly explains what is self-esteem, what it is not, why we need it, and how we can get more of it.

 

He also writes particularly about why and how the concept has been so misunderstood and the many myths surrounding what it really is, and how true self-esteem is so vital to modern day existence. The book is so much more than simple platitudes or affirmations intended to “fire you up” or “get you thinking positive.” He sets forth in the book tools and concepts for a true foundation on which to build a happier, more fulfilled life.

 

The whole book blew my mind from the beginning to the end. It is filled with PROFOUND insights and simple, reasoned-out truths and concepts that I am able to easily integrate into my daily conscious living especially because he includes many simple exercises in the book for this type of practical integration and application.

 

I’ve actually included one of his ten-minute consciousness exercises into my daily routine that I’ll be doing for probably at least a year. And I don’t just include stuff in my schedule lightly.

 

For a new perspective on yourself and what you might be hiding from yourself without even realizing it, pick this one up ASAP.

 

It is ridiculously enlightening.

 

English: Pillars