My Life Coaching Is Not For People Who “Need” It

My coaching is for high performers, for those committed to personal growth in an uncommon way.

My coaching is for people going from good to great, for the high achievers, for the Elite-level players, for the entrepreneurs, for the spiritual psychonauts and dedicated soul-searchers.

We’re all playing the game of life, of course, in the sense that we’re all here and we’ve all got goals and dreams and hopes and challenges.

But some of us have that rare type of courage which impels us to intentionally expose and examine not just our light and positivity and success, but especially to expose our vulnerabilities and frustrations and straight-up darkness TO THE LIGHT of compassionate, connected awareness, in service of living a life led by more Inspiration, Desire and Freedom, and what I like to call feeling fully ALIVE.

Getting coaching requires a rare kind of courage: A courage to examine the inner working’s of one’s own Mind, Body & Spirit, both the light and the dark.

And being committed to serving a client’s highest good is often intense (for both of us) because it means not letting them off the hook… tenaciously, fiercely and compassionately following their tensions and passions, their fears and desires, their darkness and their light in order to reveal more of whom they are becoming and of whom they are meant to be.

To shine a light into the darkness!

To deeply question fundamental stories, patterns and beliefs and install new and better ones!

To be taken to the precipice of uncertainty…  …and to step off of it!

To fiercely examine what’s working and what’s not!

To dream bigger, wider and deeper than ever!

That’s a little bit of what my coaching is about…

I noticed that some people are under the impression that Coaches are for people who “need help.”

Please. It’s just not like that.

Sure, we all have individual challenges and edges and goals and pursuits. We’re all simultaneously growing and dying at different levels and states and stages.

But understand that the level of personal security and confidence and courage required to get life coaching puts a coachee in an elite category of commitment to personal growth and success. ELITE.

It makes sense when you think about it, right?

Getting coaching, whether it’s for a short-term goal like weight-loss or physical energy or finding a partner, or for longer-term goals like entrepreneurial goals or spiritual and emotional development—someone willing to get coaching already has so much more resourcefulness than the average person, and much more conscious desire to HAVE their Desires.

And, resourcefulness, of course, is the thing. Not resources. To quote the great Tony Robbins, “People always think it’s about resources, but it’s not. It’s about resourceFULNESS.”

My clients are super-people, and they just want even more of an edge, even more clarity and inspiration and to grow their enormous, shining, star-orbs of light and awareness–because they want to and because they can.

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That’s why my clients are upgrading their lives, their resourcefulness, their Awareness and clarity, their relationships (Love), their focus and alignment with their values (Integrity), their physical Vitality, their unique Excellence.

They want to play the game of life at a higher level. At the highest levels, really.

So:

If you want even more out of YOUR life: more Freedom, more Awareness, more Love, Integrity, Vitality & Excellence–if you want to feel even more fully ALIVE— send me a message at aaron@reallifeconnectioncoach.com with a little bit about what you want and what challenges are in the way of having what you want.

Or if you know any high-growth oriented people who are on the path of conscious, intentional expansion and who have some big dreams and goals they could use support with, send them my way.

Right now I’ve got a few spots left for free one-on-one video calls, and I’m looking to get those filled ASAP.

Be fully ALIVE,

Aaron

The Quick Summary Of All We Know To Be True: Emotion

Our bodies collect the information from all of our experiences, and our emotions give us the split second summary of what is needed in the moment, based on three things: 1. All that collected information 2. The questions we are asking 3. What we want

Our thinking minds FOLLOW our emotional intelligence–not the other way around. Our minds generate reasons based on what the heart has already decided.

So when we can learn to FEEL the sensations in our bodies more subtly, more intimately, we develop an unfair advantage for getting what we want–especially when we couple that sensory awareness with real world experience, which can more accurately inform our emotions.

Our positivism lasts a bit longer when it is more closely aligned with reality.

Because if you’ve only seen 2 swans and both were white, then there’s no such thing as a black swan. Until you see a black swan, of course.

We all have different methods and modes of information gathering and interpretation. We’re all sponges of our environments. We soak it up, whatever it is.

If you’re born in Saudi Arabia, chances are you’ll be able give me excellent reasons for why Allah wants everyone to be a good Muslim.

If you’re born in the southeastern United States, chances are you’ll be able to give me great reasons why good people should join a church and believe in the blood sacrifice of Jesus.

If you’re born in South America, chances are you’ll be able to explain why being a Catholic and having socialist political leanings is the best way to live.

But the reasons come from a deeper source. They come out of needing an explanation for how you feel. Because how you feel informs how you think. And how you feel is based on your life experience.

So get in there ever more deeply. Experience much. Ask lots of questions.

Pay attention to the currents, the ebbing and flowing and rippling, to both the slick, quick running and the slow, almost imperceptible, glacier-like movements.

There’s so much information available.

And ALL of it helps us get to where we want to go. Where do you want to go? What do you want?

Chances are that you’ve already decided what you want and your mind has made up reasons to justify it.

 

I want to come more fully alive.

What do YOU want?

We Can Feel The Intentions Of Others

I’ve gotten frustrated with the self-help crowd, especially the “new-agey” type for giving frequent, automatic and highly UNhelpful advice to me and others in the past.

When we just tell a motherfucker to “open your heart” or “be yourself,” sure, it’s a great opportunity to pat ourselves on the back for being a guru.

But truthfully, this type of advice is coming from a terribly unhelpful guru.

A great teacher knows when his students are not understanding him. A great teacher also stays with his students UNTIL THEY UNDERSTAND.

It took me years to understand what “open your heart” meant, and for the sake of anyone else who hasn’t understood it yet, what it means is simply placing awareness on your own heart.

Feel the sensations around your physical heart by tuning in to that area. In a similar way that you would become aware of any other part of your body, simply place your attention on it and notice the sensations.

When you notice the sensations in and around your heart, you’re on the way to “opening your heart.” It’s about being aware of the physical sensations around your heart.

Boom. Three small paragraphs. Not hard… and, by the way, if you still have questions, drop me a line or comment below and I’m happy to continue the conversation.

If a teacher feigns that YOU don’t understand what he or she is trying to explain, it’s not YOUR fault. It’s on the teacher to teach. If you’re not understanding, then the teacher is not doing his job.

I remember one professor in college who was particularly difficult when it came to exams. I heard multiple classmates say, “He’s just so smart that he doesn’t know how to explain it to us.” That’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard.

I argue that if you can’t explain something to someone else, you probably don’t understand it all that well yourself.

Here’s what I wanted to write here from the beginning: I’ve learned something new and personally profound:

We can feel other people’s intentions.

I don’t hear people talking about this. People don’t say it so concisely.

I can usually feel your intentions.

An intention is what someone is wanting, behind what they may be saying or projecting or doing.

It’s highly unlikely we’ve got each other all figured out, as so often those with little social experience assume they do.

By the way, if you haven’t approached thousands of people to have conversations and to try to sell them something and/or to have sex with them, you’re probably in what I would call the “little social experience” category.

Massive social experience changes us. We can start seeing the patterns. We can start feeling the patterns, and the intentions and even the energy fields around people.

Notice what you imagine might be the intentions of those with whom you interact this week. If you really want to take it to the next level, get curious and ask them if what you’re sensing is true or not.

Notice whether you believe their answer or not.

One other fundamental lesson I’ve been re-learning this week I want to highlight here: Your opinion of yourself is the most important one. Other people often project their shit onto you, even when they “know you well.”

Remember to have compassion on people, and notice without having to react.

Most importantly, cultivate self-compassion, because how you treat yourself is how you treat the world.

Love,

Aaron

Surfing On An Emotional Wave

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Until you understand your emotions, you’re really missing out. You’ll never be as mature as you could be, you won’t enjoy life as much as you could.

Here are a few basic concepts to help you understand emotions, and a couple easy-to-implement techniques to “deal with” your emotions.

First of all, this is a GARGANTUAN topic, and this article is not even going to scratch the surface. However, if you read through it, I think you’ll get some awesome value and a new perspective that may lead to profound growth for you.

So, emotions come in WAVES. They come and they go. They are similar to waves in many ways because they are undulating and often they silently creep up on you and then crash down suddenly before dissipating, often leaving not even a single trace.

Most of us may be ok with little waves of emotions, but what about the bigger things that really can tear at us, like a break-up or stress from moving, or a job change, or a death of a loved one.

The bigger the wave, the more skill it takes to maneuver it without it killing you.

Think of your consciousness (your awareness) like a surfer. And let’s say the goal is to surf  (feel) these waves (emotions) in a way that allows you to enjoy your activity (life). Ideally, you see the wave coming, you prepare for it, you start paddling and enjoy the ride to the beach.

Now, what would happen if you were to RESIST the oncoming wave? Well, you could possibly be skilled enough to paddle towards it and escape before it crashes all over you. That’s not really resisting though, is it? That’s taking action and going TOWARDS the emotion.

What if you were to IGNORE the wave and hope that it would go away? Well, we all know that’s not going to work. Emotions are like that, too. They don’t just go away. They’re just as real as the waves, and we have to deal with them in one way or another.

One option is actually to be crashed into pieces by the wave. I’ve encountered a few situations in my life where I personally have thought an emotion would kill me, and I’ve held people in my arms who have thought they were going to die from the feelings they had. In some cases, these people have expressed clearly, “I want to die,” as they were feeling these emotions mercilessly rip through their bodies.

In 100% of the cases I’ve seen so far, when an emotion has been so strong as to crash that person down and make them feel as if they are being destroyed, they have come out later as stronger people with more gratitude and more value to offer to the people around them.

Still, those stories don’t always help when we’re in the middle of the emotion. In that moment, all we feel is what we feel and nothing else really matters.

As we mature (aka gain perspective and wisdom in life), we can become aware that these waves are such a gift. Sometimes the waves seem so big and scary that we just want to ignore them, hoping that they will go away. We are so afraid of the death and hurt that may occur to us if we were to allow ourselves to feel those emotions. Little do we know that once we free ourselves and give ourselves permission to start taking the waves as they come, we will be riding them like a surfer on a dangerous wave–full of gratitude, excitement, respect and awe for the beauty of what is happening in the moment.

Using your breath in these moments can be one of the most powerful tools for tapping into these waves and allowing them to do their work. If you accept the wave of emotion as everything that is and ever will be in that moment, you will be able to ride it out, and you may be surprised to find that the emotion fades and is replaced with peace.

As we learn to accept the waves for what they are, POWERFUL FORCES that actually exist no matter how much we want to pretend they don’t exist sometimes, we can become increasingly skilled at riding these waves. Life becomes a meditation. Breath becomes deeper. Love and gratitude expand.

It doesn’t mean that it will always feel pleasant. But it does mean that we allow for these waves to do their work and to make us into better, stronger, more loving surfers.

And who doesn’t love to watch an expert surfer embracing an awesome wave?

I know I do.

Love,

Aaron