A Few Musings

I want the truth more than I want anything else, because, instinctively, I know that the truth will set me free.

I know this in my bones.

I know it like I know beautiful music from harsh, grating notes.

We can know truth, in it’s various forms.

The measure of inner truth is sincerity. Is she genuine in expressing her inner world? Does she believe what she’s saying about her inner world? Do I believe she believes what she’s saying? That’s called subjective truth. (It’s “true” for her.)

We can also believe something sincerely, and that belief can be totally false objectively. Our sincerity in the belief we can jump off a cliff and fly, will not negate the existence of gravity.

The measure of outer truth is objective, empirical, scientific. Does the proposition match reality? Can the facts be verified and repeated?

I’ve been searching for the truth for as long as I can remember.

Here are some of the my current (subjective) truths:

+There is often more truth in the questions than there are in the answers

+Add softening qualifiers like “some,” “sometimes” or “often” to statements and they become truer. For example: “People love ice cream.” –not quite as true as “Some people love ice cream.”

+Good musicality and imagery of language increases resonance in communication. People will usually feel the communication more, and thus understand more. This includes rhyming, orderliness and simplicity. Syntax counts.

+Good music doesn’t lie.

+People are almost always terrified of uncertainty, and will desperately cling to what we already believe, usually until it becomes too painful to continue with those same beliefs. Death is not too painful for many, in this scenario.

+Live with the questions for as long as it takes. Don’t allow your intense desire for certainty overpower your precious curiosity. Your brain is not on your side, in this respect. It is literally hardwired to find certainty in what you already believe and to ignore any evidence which might contradict presuppositions.

+Patience is paramount.

+Discover what energizes you and brings you joy. Implement.

+Discover what drains you and brings you down. Eradicate.

+Keep turning towards your pain.

+Crying is like taking a shit. It’s not the prettiest thing in the world, but it’s even worse when you avoid “doing your business.” Cry often.

+Ask for what you want, and be ok with the answer.

+Keep some awareness on your heart when you’re angry. This way instead of straight anger, you’re practicing “heart-anger” (credit: Robert Augusts Masters)

+The women in your life already know when you’re angry, sad, ashamed, withholding, etc, so you might as well talk about it.

+”Stress” is the high-achievers word for “fear.”

+Fear is not the enemy. Resisting and avoiding fear is the enemy. Don’t fear fear (sorry, JFK); embrace fear with consciousness and compassion.

+Simple communication is usually the most powerful.

There is a beautiful, intelligent structure to the cosmos, and there is order in the chaos. Let us continue to investigate courageously the deep structures of reality, both inside and out.

Love,

Aaron

P.S. None of my musings are really anything like life coaching at all. Life coaching isn’t about giving advice or offering pithy quotes, it’s about asking questions and uncovering deep motivations and those obstacles which stands in the way of getting what you want.

I’m currently offering powerful 1-1 life coaching to help you become more ALIVE, more free, more energized, more connected to that which fuels you and released from that which drains you. Shoot me an e-mail at aaron@reallifeconnectioncoach.com with a few paragraphs about you, what you want and what is on your mind. If it seems like I can serve you, I’ll block off a complimentary 1-2 hours of my time to talk on the phone or Skype. Maybe we’ll solve your issue right then and there! All correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

Money & Happiness Over Service And Creation Leads To No Money & No Happiness

It’s like all the money and savings experts say about how to actually save money, “Pay yourself first.”

If you don’t make the conscious, deliberate commitment to produce before you consume, you’ll be sucked into the current, and you won’t come out alive.

 

Money is important, it’s just not the most important thing. When we put money first, before virtues, it will never last. Whatever strategy where money comes before virtues, it may last for a while, but not for the long term.

When we put happiness first, before virtues, the happiness will not last either. Happiness, like money, is a by-product of the path, not the path itself. Money and happiness can indicate how we’re doing, but they’re not the path itself.

First virtues, then the by-products of those virtues. That’s the only way to sustain being ALIVE.

Life is short, and we’re all going to die, so why not go for every virtuous thing we want? Either way, we’re already dead.

So go for all of it. Don’t buy your own excuses. Learn how to sustain your passion and your joy. Cut out the bullshit and incorporate the good shit. Run toward your fear, and if you can’t run, then walk; if you can’t walk then crawl, and if you can’t crawl toward your fear, then at least be willing to look in its direction.

Drop those things that drain you and adopt those which fuel you.

It’s a rather simple equation, but it’s virtually impossible unless we have help from people who will hold us accountable and challenge us to see more and to be just a little truer than our current self-concepts would have us believe we are.

The comfort strategy will work for a while, until it doesn’t anymore.

The comfort strategy will work just great until you wake up one day with a crisis. Maybe your adrenals are burned out and you’ve only got 1 hour of energy a day, and, apparently, it’s time to either die or to change, to adopt new strategies and to shed the old ways that just aren’t working anymore.

It’s not always pleasant to die to the old. People often say that the truth will set you free, but what they often don’t say is that it might hurt when the chains come off.

People think fear is the enemy, but it’s not. Our avoidance and resistance to fear is the enemy.

Death is great. The natural fear of death we all have is great.

Why? Because the fear of death is so great for human beings that it will sometimes outweigh even our complacency to stay whom we’ve been. And in that case, there might be room for transformation.

Transformation can happen when we feel enough pain to consider that maybe we don’t know everything. We become so uncomfortable that we consider trying something new. We get so fucking desperate that we’ll turn off the TV, open a book, take a course, get a coach, anything to feel some relief.

There’s a thin, fuzzy line between courage and desperation.

And that’s ok. Whatever it takes to help us move. To motivate us. Pain can be quite the motivator.

As long as we’re no longer stagnating, rotting, festering in our old, warm, moldy putrid stories that used to lend us so much comfort.

Me? I want everything. I want it all. I want to be infinitely powerful. I want to experience myself as the universe, as the One and All, as everything and as nothing. As God.

And maybe that’s what we’re doing here on this tiny little speck in the Milky Way. It what we’re doing here on this one small planet, on one rather ordinary solar system in a relatively ordinary galaxy containing 500 billion other solar systems in a rather ordinary universe of 2 trillion galaxies, each with around 100 billion stars.

Compassion is in order.

The answers are in the questions, the movements, the stories, the searching, the experience, the stillness, the observation, the humility to admit conviction, uncertainty and desire.

The answers are in the experience and creation, and even in the destruction.

So go create something. Or, fuck it, go destroy something. Either way, it feels nice.

Love,

Aaron

P.S. For a limited time, I’m offering special discounted life coaching. E-mail me at aaron@reallifeconnectioncoach.com if you’re interested in some deep, powerful, intuitive and life-changing coaching. If it seems like we might be a good fit (based on your e-mail to me), I’ll block off a complimentary 1-2 hours for you. It will be great fun for me, and potentially life-changing for you. If it feels right, at the end of the call I’ll make my offer.

Self-Ownership & Overcoming Fear

Who do you think you are?

Well, chances are, unless you’ve achieved the non-dual realization of Oneness with everything and nothing, who you THINK you are is not who you REALLY are. And for all I know, maybe the “non-dual realization” is only the beginning. I’ll let you know when I find out ;p

I believe that becoming fully ALIVE is a process of discovering and uncovering the layers of constriction that block the flow of life through you.

I believe that who YOU are at your deepest is INFINITE, like the universe itself. You, like the universe, are infinite.

No bounds, baby.

And the only thing standing in the way of this realization is your pitiful holding on to the limited version of yourself that you think you are right now. (I do this, too.)

I’ve got a little theory about life, fear, peace and violence. I’m still working on it, but it goes something like this:

Life begins as a brilliant impulse. The intensity of that impulse is high.

When we are confronted with that continued growth-impulse throughout our development as children (and also adults), when we experience a little bit of it, we have a choice.

We can allow the intensity of that impulse to flood our system, to enliven us, to invigorate and enlighten us.

But like I said, that impulse is fucking intense.

It’s so intense that most of us will, at some point in our development, choose to say no. We block it. We constrict around it. We simply do not trust the intensity of that sensation, of that level of expanding aliveness. This is usually done unconsciously, in other words, without awareness.

And that is when that impulse becomes fear.

It could have been excitement. But you tried to restrict it.

Fear is the potential enlightenment of the prime impulse that gets constricted and turns dark and stuck.

Fear is the opposite of trust; fear is what happens when we try to control the impulse of life.

When we choose an attempt to control LIFE instead of trusting LIFE, we enter into a world of fear. The characteristics of fear, those habits which perpetuate fear are control, constriction, opacity/lack of curiosity, desperation, clinging to the illusion of safety, attempts to force/coerce others against their will, power *over* others, condemnation, and a win/lose outlook.

When we trust LIFE, those characteristics are in direct opposition to attempts to control her. These are openness, transparency, investigation, curiosity, confidence, letting go, attempts to persuade and understand others, power *with* others, compassion, and a win/win outlook.

The foundation built from attempts to control life leads straight from fear to suffering to violence. Any attempt to control another adult human being against their will is violent because, at the very least, it carries the threat of violence.

The foundation built on the trusting of life leads to the high-sensation worldspace of freedom, responsibility, prosperity, wisdom, and the highest possible levels of peace and aliveness and connectedness.

Obviously, in life, there will always be some degree of suffering and unrest. Growth, as far as I can tell, seems to be an inherently uncomfortable process. But our attempts to control life only lead to more suffering.

Again, any coercion or force applied to another against their will is violent because it carries the threat of violence. This is the path of control, the path of fear and ultimately of staying small and desperate, stuck and stagnate.

Those with full respect for another’s self-ownership/self-sovereignty will never initiate the threat of violence on another, whether it is direct or by proxy, by mercenary.

Leaders lead. They don’t threaten their people with violence. They reach out with respect for others’ minds and hearts, and they inspire their followers by integrity of example, by going first, by serving their followers and their cause. Anyone who threatens others with violence is not a leader, but a despot, a tyrant, a criminal.

Do you disagree?

WHO OWNS YOU BUT YOURSELF?

It is crucial to understand, in the defense and protection of LIFE, as the ultimate standard of morality, that fear is not the enemy.

Fear is not the enemy. In fact, one of the best ways to overcome fear is to run toward it, to dive into it, to stare it in the face until its desperate, silly little game reveals itself as the farce that it really is.

Fear is ultimately a lie. It is sometimes a highly convincing lie, but it is based on an avoidance of life, of avoiding truth and transparency, and it is but a withering pang of desperation in the face of real love and truth, freedom and responsibility.

Remember! Fear is not the enemy.

The enemy is the attempt to control life, the initiation of the threat of violence on another or our own bodyminds, NO MATTER how beautiful one’s imagined end-game utopia seems to be under this coercive ideology.

There are lots of beautifully-intentioned people out there, but many of them adopt a coercive ideology as a means to fulfill their dreams. That’s not sustainable, and it’s actually EVIL when morality is defined as protecting and defending life, self-ownership and vitality.

98% of us want peace and prosperity for all. (Statistically speaking, 2% of the population are sociopaths, so we’ll just go with 98%.) And either way, it is the VAST majority that wants peace and prosperity for all. (note: those 2% are probably the ones hurting the most.)

The great challenge therein, is the means to that end.

Our theoretical, philosophical means are different.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing, because individually, as self-owning human beings, our individual ends we seek are personal. My caution is when we go beyond ourselves in order to influence, let us remember that other people are also self-owners and we have NO RIGHT to threaten them with violence if they do not comply.

Remember that commissioning a government to carry out your wishes is using the threat of violence by proxy. Hiring someone (a mercenary) to do the dirty work is just as bad as doing it yourself.

You want different things from what I want. Success for you is NOT necessarily what success is for me. We want similar things, perhaps, but we are individuals with different wants and needs. We are self-owning individuals. Are we not?

I prefer to let you go about your methods and means freely, AS LONG AS IT DOES NOT HARM MY LIFE, MY REAL PROPERTY, AND THE VITAL RESOURCES WE ALL MUST SHARE (like water, air, forests, wildlife, oceans, etc).

I hope you want the same for me.

I don’t know about you, but I’m a survivor. And I WILL DEFEND my life and real property and vital resources from violence and the threat of violence.

As Patrick Henry so eloquently asked a couple hundred short years ago, “Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?”

No fucking way.

So what will be your answer when you are asked: Who owns you?!

You own you, baby. I hope that’s fucking clear.

Lean into the fear. Discover the lies it has been telling. Know the truth and be free.

Love,

Aaron

PS: As many of you know, I’ve been building my life coaching business since being recently certified as a Bulletproof™Coach. I’ve actually been considering re-branding myself as a self-discovery coach, because I’m finding that that is possibly what I do best. I help you discover who you *really* are (which can be quite intense) so that you can be fully ALIVE.

I ask deep, intuitive questions, exquisitely following my curiosity, reflecting and amplifying your presence–and the results so far have been great! I’m currently offering discounted rates, too, while I’m still building my clientele. If you’d like to have a revolutionary self-discovery conversation with me and feel out if some transformational coaching might be just what you need, check out: www.reallifeconnectioncoach.com/coaching and drop me a line!

Lessons I’ve Learned From Depression

Sometimes I feel more like the Fake Death Disconnection Wannabe-Coach than the Real Life Connection Coach.

Sometimes I want to curl up into a ball, fall asleep and never wake up. Sometimes I’ll spend days or even weeks at a time dipping in and out of self-destructive and suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, and purposelessness.

Depression takes me down, down, down, so deep into an abyss. When I’m in it, it feels like nothing really matters. It can be sunshiny and beautiful outside, but all I see is gray.

So I’d like to share a few lessons I’ve learned and tools that have personally helped me through it.

#1: Asking the question: What really matters to me?

This question brings me back to my heart. What do I CARE about? Sometimes it seems like there is breathtakingly little I still care about, but I search and search because I know that if I’m still alive then there must be SOMETHING keeping me here.

This is super, super important, because it gets me in touch with my heart. What we care about lives in our hearts. The words care and core are practically the same word. The latin root word cor means heart (as in the word courage), and although it might not be scientifically etymologically correct, for me these words are close enough to make a connection.

I get depressed when I’m out of touch with what I care about (what’s in my HEART)–when I’m not prioritizing what I care about. For better or worse, when I’m not acting on what is most important to me, I feel sad, depressed, angry, and overall just “down.”

For the past few weeks I have not been prioritizing going out to meetups and networking and meeting people to talk to about my coaching business! My coaching business and, more deeply, helping people feel more ALIVE, energized and WHOLE is one of my deepest passions right now, and, thankfully, my heart won’t let me quit on this.

This leads me to the second thing that’s helped me out a LOT:

#2: Allowing myself to feel depressed/down/angry/sad and sharing it with close, trusted friends, life coaches and healers.

It feels a little risky to me posting this blog and video because I’m admitting I sometimes feel deeply, hopelessly depressed. What if some government organization uses this as evidence that they need to forcibly medicate me (against my will) and inject chemicals into me that numb my mind and spirit?!? That’s a genuine fear for me, probably the biggest one. I’m also afraid I’ll be misunderstood, or that people will run away from me, or that I’ll be shunned and isolated because I have problems.

Here’s the deal with that though. Depression, sadness, being “down” is NOT a problem, it’s a GIFT.

I imagine someone reading this might be thinking “How can depression possibly be a fucking gift, man? I mean, COME ON!!!”

See, if I never got depressed and sad and down, then I would be fine doing the things I’ve always done, not ever getting closer to growing my life coaching business. I would be ok to let my health and friendships and finances decay, because after all, if I’m feeling AWESOME ABOUT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME, why would I want anything different?!?

What’s important to understand is that the “down” emotions are your friends.

They don’t feel like our friends when we’re emotionally unskillful, but they ARE our friends.

Working with our emotions is a SKILL. It’s a skill I’ve gotten better and better at, by practicing and practicing and practicing, and being patient and meditating…

The basic skill is to BE WITH our emotions.

We often spend MASSIVE energy avoiding, fighting, minimizing or rationalizing our emotions, instead of just being with them.

When we become more skillful at this, we can often allow our emotions to move through us much more quickly.

Now, “quickly” is relative, because sometimes it feels like FOREVER when we’re in the thick of it.

For me, what helps me “let it go” (which translated into more practical terms is: allow it to move) is spending time feeling it, and, especially, feeling it and becoming intimate with that emotion in the presence of someone I love who loves me/cares about me, and who is skillful enough to simply listen to me and ask curious, compassionate, patient questions until I can “go over the edge” and feel the depth, the pain, the tormented part of myself I’d been freezing in my body.

That’s what we’re habituated to, by the way. We’re habituated to FREEZING the emotions in our system, generally speaking. And that’s what creates more fear and more pain, is this contracting, this wall, this blockade we create, often automatically, because we don’t feel safe to actually feel the depth of what we’re feeling.

When we fight with reality, it takes a massive amount of energy, and in the end, reality still wins.

Here’s another helpful principle: The emotion is NOT telling the whole story. It’s telling part of the story.

In the moment, the emotion can often feel so fucking painful that it feels like it IS everything, that the emotion is the only thing that has ever or will ever exist.

The emotion can feel like it will suffocate us, drown us, kill us and leave our body to hang out to die.

That’s why we run. We’re not ready to die.

But what is amazing, and so fucking rewarding is that we don’t die. In fact, a little part of our ego dies (our ego being who we think we are vs who we actually are), and we get to discover a greater depth and width and height of Being we never previously knew.

And we learn how to have these “little deaths” over and over again.

We get better at dying these little deaths, which ironically, counter-intuitively, and with so much pleasurable surprise allows us to be MORE FULLY ALIVE THAN WE EVER IMAGINED POSSIBLE.

Being fully ALIVE is just a little bit more nuanced than it might appear to be on the surface because being fully ALIVE means feeling the UP and the DOWN. We don’t get one without the other.

LIFE includes DEATH, and when we celebrate ALL THAT IS, we discover reality and we begin to align with the Infinite Soul.

Being fully ALIVE is worth dying for.

And I’m here to listen if you’d like to talk.

I believe that the world is dying to be ALIVE, and being ALIVE starts by discovering the great mystery of who we really are and what we really care about.

I’d love to be a part of your discovery, so drop me a line if you’re open to chat about your life, to get fucking REAL, drop the bullshit, and experience MORE.

Let’s be more fully ALIVE!

Love,

Aaron

A Few Words On Freedom

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No man or woman owns us. We own ourselves. We do not own each other.
I re-read the USA Declaration of Independence yesterday and broke down in tears when I got to the end. I care about freedom so much, and I hate so much how our freedoms are being taken away, bit by bit, by those who would force us to comply with their ideologies. Coercion, the initiation of force by one over another in order to elicit non-consensual compliance, that is where immorality begins. We must be vigilant to protect ourselves and the world against this type of evil.
When we become so arrogant as to force others to comply with our own ideologies, when we know what is best for others and MAKE THEM COMPLY–whether they agree or not–we are overstepping our bounds.
The good news is, that in the end, the truth always wins. It doesn’t look like we think it will look, but a castle with a foundation built on deceit, lies, fear and the forcing of compliance, that structure will always crumble in the end.
Fear is not the enemy, unless we run from it. Fear is simply the darkness into which we are called to shine the light of truth. Fear is that ever-expanding circumference around the brilliant orb of our being which calls us to expand into our glory and be that much more fully ALIVE.
Love,
Aaron

You Are A Sponge Of Your Environment

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Why is it that there is such a diversity in the beliefs of “Christians”? Why are certain geographic regions of the world mostly Muslim, Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, etc? Why do we call the southeast of the United States the “Bible Belt,” and if you’re from Saudi Arabia, chances are that you’re a Muslim believer?

It’s because we mostly do and believe what we are expected to do and believe by those around us. We are sponges of our environments.

Thinking for oneself is truly rare.

Most of the time as humans we simply adopt the beliefs, habits and choices which are expected of us. I call that the blind leading the blind.

Why is thinking for oneself so rare?

WHY?!?

Because we are afraid of fear and uncertainty.

If we humble ourselves enough to ask questions, then we also face the uncertainty of unknown answers and unknown future circumstances in light of what might be discovered.

It’s the proverbial “leap of faith” into the dark tunnel. Like in the movie Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail when he steps out into the open air above the apparent plunge into dark oblivion. We must be ready to die for the answers, if we would have them.

We must be ready to die because that’s what it FEELS like when we take that leap of faith into the darkness.

Usually we won’t die, but it might feel like we will. And that’s called fear.

The problem with fear is mostly our relationship to it. Do we think that fear is bad? What did JFK mean when he said that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself?

Maybe he meant that if we are afraid of encountering fear, then we will be in an unhelpful place. If we believe that fear is bad or evil, then we won’t have a close relationship with it. We will shy away from it. We will not shine our lights into the darkness for fear of the fear.

But is fear really the enemy?

See, what most people do is we simply adopt the beliefs held by our peers and our cultures.

But what happens when we discover that commonly held beliefs are just lies?

Like when we do some digging and recognize that vaccines are not what they are advertised. Like when we realize that genetically engineered food is destructive to nature. Like when we realize that certain “drugs” from huge pharmaceutical companies are “legal” and yet they are killing millions of people silently, while the drugs that really work (like cannabis) are criminalized.

What do we do when we start waking up to the truth that we have been lied to?

We spread the truth. That’s what we do. We talk about it publicly and we stand for what is good for what upholds LIFE.

Throughout the last 2 millennia,  Christianity as a religion has murdered dissenters left and right. More recently, in the last couple hundred years, Christians have lessened their terrorizing of society, and now extremely radical Islamists are known as the greater terrorists of society.

But maybe we’re just blithely accepting the cultural narrative spread by the mainstream media about who the real “bad guys” are. Maybe we are being lied to much more than we know.

As humans, we operate at the limits of our understanding. Give us truth, and we will act on that truth if we know that it is truth. Give us lies, and if we know no better, we will believe the lies as if it were truth!

Why is the USA aiding “rebels” in Libya? Who are the rebels and against whom are they rebelling? Look this shit up on YouTube and stop believing everything CNN and FOX and BBC are telling you. These media outlets are mouthpieces of their countries’ governments.

This is also why the free, uncensored internet is our greatest hope right now. Because we the people of the world can create true content and reporting from concerned citizens unaffiliated with the personal interests of unaccountable world oligarchies and hegemonies.

Let us expose ourselves to excellence by way of a greater morality and cease being puppets of the propaganda produced by despots and religious interest groups, be they muslim, christian or alien.

Let us define for OURSELVES a morality of life, and stand up against that which we know is the way of death and suffering.

Let us shine the light of our perception into the darkness of suffering and evil, so that we may truly know good from evil.

This is one of the biggest controlling lies of the Judaeo-Christian-Islamic ethic: Tasting the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, as if knowing right from wrong were a bad thing. As if knowing good from evil were bad. Let us look at good and evil in order to grapple with it, in order to know what we support and condemn. We must, as human beings. It is who we are. And when we deny ourselves knowing good from evil, we will always be controlled by those who would dictate their personal morality upon us.

This is a difficult task, but we are here and we have no other choice if we want to be free.

Pick up the key to the prison cell of your perception and unlock the door. Understand that asking questions is the method of thinking. Asking questions is how you think. Which questions do you have? Which questions are you courageous enough to ask?

Feel your fear and enjoy the pleasure of the uncertainty and exploration. Like a star-wars battleship plunging at light speed into the darkness of unknown galaxies, be grateful for the adventure of your life, and know that you can know good from evil.

Shine the light of your awareness into the caverns of your uncertainty. Relish the delicious “fear” of discovery, the juicy excitement of brazenly trailblazing into the great unknown.

And do not concede uncertainty as truth, if you are not yet fully certain.

Stay tenacious in your quest for the truth, for as long as it takes.

Be uncompromising. Be patient.

And the truth will set you free.

Love,

Aaron

Say Yes

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When you suddenly see her across the room.

When you feel the familiar pangs of uncertainty.

When your gut isn’t giving you the answer.

When there’s a safe option and there’s the fun option.

When you haven’t done it before.

When you’ll be challenged.

When you might not get another chance.

When you might fail.

When you’ll be a different person afterwords.

When you might lose something.

When it’ll make you feel more alive.

When you’re scared to death….

Say yes.

Love,

Aaron

Yes, You’re Scared. That’s OK.

You do it because you give yourself no other option.

You do it despite the thousands of thoughts streaming by in your head telling you not to.

You do it because given the alternative, you’ve learned to prefer this side of pain.

So you take a deep breath. You exhale slowly.

You knock on that door. You talk to that client. You take that risk. You risk NOT getting the result you’re looking for.

You risk making someone else feel negative emotions. (<–that’s a big one for me!)

You risk looking stupid.

And sometimes all of that comes true.

And sometimes you get exactly what you want.

Usually, it turns out that that thing you got–it was exactly what you were focusing on.

What are you focusing on?

What would need to happen in order for you to realize you care less about the failure than you do about the success?

Love,

Aaron

Knocking on Poe's Door
Knocking on Poe’s Door (Photo credit: edenpictures)

All You Need is Love

“All ya need is love, love, love….”

And it’s true!

Except for when it’s not.

Love can no more exist without fear, than hot can exist without cold.

Ultimately, love is something that you DO by making a conscious choice to focus on your own and others’ gifts, by accepting that whatever is, is perfect (even the desire to change as being perfect), and by choosing to guard our compassion. Because love is an action, a verb, now it means something.

It’s not enough to choose to love the “good” parts. Because without the “bad” parts, we wouldn’t even be aware that there were good parts! The contrast provides the choice. The choice provides the responsibility. The responsibility is the foundation of Autonomy, and autonomy is freedom. When you’re free (and your mind is always free) you’re responsible for your own decisions/choices. And that means that your choices matter. Your choices have meaning, significance, and implications for good and/or bad feelings resulting to yourself and others.

Again, everything is perfect, just as it is, even your desire to change.

So all you need is to CHOOSE love, and at the same time, be grateful that choice exists.

That choice is what gives love power.

Without that choice, we’d just be circuits and breakers.

However, it’s a lot harder to put all of that ^^^ into a song!

What You Resist Persists

It can be extremely counter-intuitive, but, it’s one of the most profound quotes I’ve heard in my life. It actually comes from Taoist philosophy.

For example, John Selby, in his book Quiet Your Mind talks about one of the most common ways that people become phobic and afraid or dogs, airplanes, or any number of situations or scenarios, is by allowing their mind to BEGIN the “movie in their head” of the dog biting them, or the airplane crashing, but they immediately RESIST that fear and try to stop the movie. He goes on to explain that when we allow ourselves to actually play out the entire scenario, with the dog ripping our head off, or the plane going down and an explosive death resulting, that our mind can finally realize that that feared situation is highly unlikely, and maybe even a bit humorous when we think about it and the reality. Therefore, once our mind recognizes that the feared scenario is so ridiculous, especially after repeating the same scenario ALL THE WAY TO THE MOST FEARED CIRCUMSTANCE in our heads, our mind also recognizes that there is no longer a need to resist the fear, and like magic, the fear dissipates.

Another common example:

A man sees an attractive woman and is interested, so he starts to approach her. But on his way over to her, he realizes that he doesn’t do this often so his mind tries to think of all the possible scenarios and, inevitably, most if not all of those scenarios are negative. He resists the negative thoughts, but instead of going away, they become stronger. The negative thoughts want to be heard now that he’s dedicating all this energy to resisting them! And, of course, he creeps her out because he’s using so much energy to resist the negative scenarios in his head that he is unable to be present to the moment and express his true self.

If the man hadn’t resisted the thoughts, what would have happened? Well, he’d allow the thoughts to pass through him, accepting them exactly for what they were, just thoughts, nothing more, and when he makes it over to the woman, he’s accepted whatever scenario may happen, he’s relaxed and present, and is able to express himself and have a positive interaction. After the couple hit it off, they start dating, eventually marry, and have a kid who becomes president of the United States.

Ok, well, maybe not that, but everybody loves a happy ending.

So when life is throwing you shit, which life will inevitably do, say yes to it. Just say, ok shit, I acknowledge you for what you are, I welcome you. And magically, the problems more often than not turn into way less of a big deal. They don’t necessarily disappear right away, but now you’re relaxed, you have all your mental resources since you’re not wasting most of your precious energy resisting the problems!

What you resist persists.

So welcome it. Whatever it may be for you.

Welcome it in this moment right now. Not forever, just for this one moment.

Breathe into it.

You’ll be surprised by what happens.

What is your greatest gift?

Green Orchid Bee (Euglossa dilemma)
Green Orchid Bee (Euglossa dilemma) (Photo credit: bob in swamp)

 

It’s one of the most important questions you can ask yourself.

 

If you know it, you have everything. If you’re not sure, your whole life will follow and reflect that uncertainty.

 

It’s the purpose for which you were born. And when you’re creating this specific value in the essentially unique way that only YOU can really create, only then will you feel peace.

 

Fear and uncertainty are the gates and walls that surround this path. They are as much a part of the journey as the peace and love that flows out of you when you are one with your passion. Fear points you in the right direction. Uncertainty nods that you are indeed in the right place.

 

The other option is to sedate yourself. You can accept what others believe on the basis that they can’t all be wrong.

 

Asking too many questions might scare people. People might get uncomfortable if you explore non-traditional questions and ways of being.

 

No one will feel uncomfortable if you don’t venture outside of what they think you’re supposed to be. If you just follow orders, everyone around you will be happy.

 

Except for you.

 

You’ll be dead inside.