You can only give what you have. So if you’re offering good emotions, interesting observations, humor, companionship, love, etc, that means you have it.
The more of it you give, the more of it you must have. If you didn’t have it, you wouldn’t be able to give it.
What if you don’t feel good or interesting or funny or loving in the moment?
Well, remember that emotions follows motion. The Latin prefix “e” means “from” or “out of.” So emotion literally means “from motion.” In other words, if you ACT funny, you may be able to amuse yourself. Try amusing yourself first, instead of amusing others. Trying to amuse others can be perceived as reaction-seeking and therefore needy. Trying to amuse yourself is self-sustaining, non-needy and healthy. And interestingly, when you amuse yourself, generally other people are amused, too, as long as they can understand it.
If you don’t feel loving, well, how about try loving yourself first. Act loving. Accept where you are, focus on what is right about where you are and where you are headed, and allow yourself to feel your own love, care and admiration. You are important! Chances are, after you allow yourself to love yourself, you’ll feel more capable and in a better position to love another.
Life is difficult. It’s full of paradox and it’s so often downright confusing. These actions mentioned above (like all actions) take effort. They take energy. But these types of actions are positive, energy-creating actions, meaning that when you’ve done them, you feel energized instead of drained. Some actions drain us. Some energize us. Negative, Positive.
Make sure you’re devoting ample time to mastering yourself, understanding your body and mind and the world. Love yourself. Because as Ayn Rand said, “In order to say, ‘I love you, you must first say “I.”‘”
Take a minute to congratulate yourself for how far you’ve come.
Really, what are you proud of right now? What is going RIGHT in your life? What are you grateful for?
Remember, if you’re focusing on it, that’s what you’ll get more of. So make sure you’re focusing on what you actually want, not what you DON’T want.