My Life Coaching Is Not For People Who “Need” It

My coaching is for high performers, for those committed to personal growth in an uncommon way.

My coaching is for people going from good to great, for the high achievers, for the Elite-level players, for the entrepreneurs, for the spiritual psychonauts and dedicated soul-searchers.

We’re all playing the game of life, of course, in the sense that we’re all here and we’ve all got goals and dreams and hopes and challenges.

But some of us have that rare type of courage which impels us to intentionally expose and examine not just our light and positivity and success, but especially to expose our vulnerabilities and frustrations and straight-up darkness TO THE LIGHT of compassionate, connected awareness, in service of living a life led by more Inspiration, Desire and Freedom, and what I like to call feeling fully ALIVE.

Getting coaching requires a rare kind of courage: A courage to examine the inner working’s of one’s own Mind, Body & Spirit, both the light and the dark.

And being committed to serving a client’s highest good is often intense (for both of us) because it means not letting them off the hook… tenaciously, fiercely and compassionately following their tensions and passions, their fears and desires, their darkness and their light in order to reveal more of whom they are becoming and of whom they are meant to be.

To shine a light into the darkness!

To deeply question fundamental stories, patterns and beliefs and install new and better ones!

To be taken to the precipice of uncertainty…  …and to step off of it!

To fiercely examine what’s working and what’s not!

To dream bigger, wider and deeper than ever!

That’s a little bit of what my coaching is about…

I noticed that some people are under the impression that Coaches are for people who “need help.”

Please. It’s just not like that.

Sure, we all have individual challenges and edges and goals and pursuits. We’re all simultaneously growing and dying at different levels and states and stages.

But understand that the level of personal security and confidence and courage required to get life coaching puts a coachee in an elite category of commitment to personal growth and success. ELITE.

It makes sense when you think about it, right?

Getting coaching, whether it’s for a short-term goal like weight-loss or physical energy or finding a partner, or for longer-term goals like entrepreneurial goals or spiritual and emotional development—someone willing to get coaching already has so much more resourcefulness than the average person, and much more conscious desire to HAVE their Desires.

And, resourcefulness, of course, is the thing. Not resources. To quote the great Tony Robbins, “People always think it’s about resources, but it’s not. It’s about resourceFULNESS.”

My clients are super-people, and they just want even more of an edge, even more clarity and inspiration and to grow their enormous, shining, star-orbs of light and awareness–because they want to and because they can.

***********************************************************************************************

That’s why my clients are upgrading their lives, their resourcefulness, their Awareness and clarity, their relationships (Love), their focus and alignment with their values (Integrity), their physical Vitality, their unique Excellence.

They want to play the game of life at a higher level. At the highest levels, really.

So:

If you want even more out of YOUR life: more Freedom, more Awareness, more Love, Integrity, Vitality & Excellence–if you want to feel even more fully ALIVE— send me a message at aaron@reallifeconnectioncoach.com with a little bit about what you want and what challenges are in the way of having what you want.

Or if you know any high-growth oriented people who are on the path of conscious, intentional expansion and who have some big dreams and goals they could use support with, send them my way.

Right now I’ve got a few spots left for free one-on-one video calls, and I’m looking to get those filled ASAP.

Be fully ALIVE,

Aaron

Think And Grow Rich Commentary + Video

Do you even know what you want?

What do you REALLY, REALLY want?

It takes courage to admit what it is you really want. It takes courage to commit to what you really want.

Are you willing to play ALL OUT while you’re still alive?

I want to live fully while I’m still alive.

Like Hellen Keller said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”

And like I often say, “Fuck it.”

Decide what it is you want, write it down, ask yourself WHY you want that thing, and then WHY that reason, until you get down to what you REALLY, REALLY want.

Don’t let yourself off the hook doing this.

If you can, get down to the tears. Where you tap in to your heart and the intensity of what you desire SO HARD that you’re overwhelmed with emotion.

Usually that’s a good sign you’ve touched on your deepest desires.

What do you want to do before you die?

And how long are you willing to procrastinate your dreams?

It will take patience. It will take work.

But when we want something badly enough, we become HAPPY to do the work because we are inspired with a vision for the future, and the present becomes a joy.

We begin to discover what brings us joy.

We begin to discover sustainable ways to get what we *really want*–that’s a big one.

And sustainable ways of success are built on a firm foundation of Love, Vitality, Integrity & Freedom.

Go after your dreams.

But if you’re unclear on what your dreams are, how are you going to know when you’ve gotten them?

So write them down!

And then say them aloud every single day.

Become OBSESSED with your goals. Burn the bridges. Take risks.

Decide that only death can stop you from achieving what you want, and you’ll probably get it.

Because what if your dreams are possible?

Because you won’t accept mediocrity ANY LONGER.

Because you’ll die either way.

So fuck it.

Love,

Aaron

P.S. Seriously, grab a copy of Think and Grow Rich and immerse yourself in the beliefs and habits of success.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Cialdini Commentary + Video

CASE IN POINT! The psychology of persuasion as Robert Cialdini writes about JUST FREAKING HAPPENED! As I was packing up my tripod after recording this, a group of 4 well dressed people was passing by. I told them, “You just missed being famous!”

And to my surprise they all stopped and stared at me. One man said, “What do you mean?”

So I told them I read books and record videos about them and post them online and that they could have gotten a spot in it but they were just a hair too late.

I was joking, by the way.

The guys asks, “What’s your website?”

I told him. He said he’d check it out. We bid each other farewell.

The funny thing is, I was totally joking around with them at first, but this situation clearly demonstrated the 6th principle of Influence: SCARCITY!

We hate missing out!

And when I told them they had just missed out, I wasn’t intentionally trying to get them interested in what I was doing, I just said it as a joke and then almost instantly realized how I had just used one of the most compelling principles of influence.

Wow! That was powerful.

I hope y’all all read the book and become a little wiser to the world of compliance, and a little bit less easy to trick into complying to something that might not be your best choice.

You can pick up a copy here.

Peace, Love & Grass Fed Butter,

Aaron

Money & Happiness (Part 1)

The purpose of this article is to clearly define money and happiness in the way that most successful people understand them. I will demonstrate how they are the same and how they are different. But beware, you may have never thought about money and happiness in this way before.

Studies consistently show that low income levels are correlated to high stress levels, but does more money really make you happier?

Too much stress can be a killer. The long-term health effects of stress not handled properly are devastating.

The cool part is that it is true: getting out of that low-income zone makes life less stressful, and improves your life and general sense of well-being.

However, after a certain point of attained affluence, after your basic needs are met and you’re not freaking out every day about where you food and shelter are going to come from tomorrow, studies do show that more money does not necessarily make you more happy.

Personally, I love money. I don’t believe the bullshit that the love of money is the root of all evil. I’m not sure what the root of all evil is, but I’m convinced that money itself is not it. Here’s why:

Money is the result of one person doing something nice for someone else. Money is the certificate saying that John raked Joe’s yard, and it represents the energy that was put in to the work.

Money is energy, once removed. It represents energy. It represents influence and value. John can now trade this certificate of energy with his other neighbor Sally, who makes the tastiest apple pies you’ve ever put in your mouth. John would rather have the apple pie, and Sally would rather have the money, because she wants to trade these certificates (saying she’s done something nice for someone else) for a new red party dress.

More money creates more abundance. When John rakes Joe’s yard, not only does it free up Joe to spend time doing something nice for someone else, something that Joe himself is really good at, but his yard looks nicer, he’s happier, and John is happier, too, because he spent his time in his craft being creative, productive and exercising his mental abilities. Essentially, people are trading their expertise of the expertise of others.

Everybody is doing things they like to do, providing value for everyone else, and abundance is flourishing. People who provide value to others are rewarded for their efforts, people who do not provide value to others are not rewarded. Virtue is rewarded, vice is not. This is what money does when it is traded freely and not corrupted through the use of force. It is awesome.

I’ve never worked for a poor man before. My employers and/or business owners I’ve contracted with have always had plenty of money from the value that they created for others. Because of their situation of having plenty of money, they were willing and able to bring me in to create even more value for their customers, which, of course, results in more money.

The value that you create for others is generally going to be proportionate to the money that you get in return.

Happiness is a lot like money. It’s the result of actions and effort. High levels of happiness, just like high amounts of money, are rarely an accident. Deep fulfillment is usually the result of much effort, mental and physical.

If you just sit around all day or lie on the sofa all day, your body will rot and you will be unhappy. You must get up and move around. For sustained, long-term health, you must exert yourself physically often and consistently. You must balance your nutrition and avoid products that harm you like chemicals, pesticides, artificial sweeteners, etc.

If you aren’t providing value to the people around you, not only will you be broke, but soon you will have no friends (read: lower happiness). People generally flock towards value and flee from neediness. Maybe someone will see your need and try to fill it, however, they will be expecting value in return for that. People want a return on their investment, and if they know they can get a better return somewhere else, they will go there.

There are many forms of value. Maybe you are broke, but you are hilarious and fun and relaxing to hang out with. You will probably still have friends because they enjoy (read: get value from) hearing your jokes and rejuvenating themselves around your calming energy.

Happiness or peace or fulfillment or whatever you want to call that good feeling inside is what happens when you do things that fuel you. Happiness is success. Your version of what makes you successful is different from my version. I like to write blog posts, for example, maybe you like to watch football. And, of course, there are many other things we could name that make us happy.

Again, value can come in many forms.

The point of this first article in this series is incredibly important to understand: Money and Happiness are similar because they are both RESULTS. They are not gained directly, but are secondary products of specific actions. They are both values which are generally measurable in proportion to the value those actions provide.

The biggest difference between money and happiness is this:

Money is an exchangeable value and is NOT an end unto itself. Money REPRESENTS value. Happiness is not exchangeable, and it IS an end unto itself. Happiness is itself valuable.

Stop Trying To Make It And Start Having Fun

IMG_0319

A few nights ago out at the club I was talking to these two adorable half filipina girls. We were having a great time joking around, laughing and getting to know each other.

Enter the little ginger.

You could just see it on his face. He was pissed. He wanted to be “the man” in the conversation, and he kept on weirdly trying to tell me, “you’re so cool, man, you’re so cool.” Apparently he had read the book The Game and he was trying to “AMOG” me…

I’ve actually never read The Game, although it’s kind of funny I haven’t after all the other crazy shit I’ve read and done. However, I’m familiar with the lingo and the “techniques” in the book, and it was obvious he was trying to use this one on me in order to look cooler and steal the girls from me.

This may seem far out, so just go with me on this one.

I noticed how ridiculous he was being, and I sincerely tried to be nice to him and his friend. It was just so sad though because you could see how obsessed he was with his goal of looking cool and being “the man” that he couldn’t even see me or the girls as people. We were only objects to him.

He was trying so hard to “make it” that it came off as desperate and weird, and not at all cool!

Anyway, the girls and I just ignored him and continued to have a good time and fun conversation. I wasn’t trying to make it. I was just trying to connect with people and have fun.

It made me think of all the times in life when we can take success too seriously. It’s easy to forget that we’re all going to die soon, and there really is no such thing as security or lasting comfort.

There will never be “no worries for the rest of your days.” Sorry to break it to ya, but Hakuna Mattata is a fucking joke.

Ha ha.

But it’s ok. It’s a funny joke. As long as you get it. And you let go of your attachment, as the Buddhists recommend, to your desire to live forever.

Steve Jobs, in his famous commencement speech at Stanford University said that death is life’s most important gift because it reminds us that our time is limited and it forces us to use it well.

I couldn’t agree more.

Sure, I’m still sad about death. I don’t want to die.

But when we remember that all of it, and I mean ALL of it, is a gift, life becomes full of gratitude, fun, and fulfillment.

So as you are pushing towards your goals, as you’re working out every day, eating healthy foods, sleeping properly, practicing your stupid little drills you might do for whatever craft you’ve chosen, knocking on doors, making phone calls, meeting new people, doing your laundry… as you are putting in all this effort to “make it”…

Remember to have fun.

Because you only live once!

Love,

Aaron

 

Pretend You’re Done

What would you do with your days if you were DONE?

Say you had all the money you wanted, all the toys you wanted, the girl(s) of your dreams or family of your dreams, whichever would make you happier, 100% health, and no other real challenges to speak of?

If you can answer this question honestly, you’ve taken a huge step into being in touch with your purpose in life.

Our success is a product of doing what energizes us.

Would your life be more enjoyable if you spent most of your time doing things that ENERGIZED you?

Obviously, that’s a rhetorical question.

So let’s pay more attention.

Let’s make a commitment to noticing what fuels us and makes us more in love with life.

 

Yes, You’re Scared. That’s OK.

You do it because you give yourself no other option.

You do it despite the thousands of thoughts streaming by in your head telling you not to.

You do it because given the alternative, you’ve learned to prefer this side of pain.

So you take a deep breath. You exhale slowly.

You knock on that door. You talk to that client. You take that risk. You risk NOT getting the result you’re looking for.

You risk making someone else feel negative emotions. (<–that’s a big one for me!)

You risk looking stupid.

And sometimes all of that comes true.

And sometimes you get exactly what you want.

Usually, it turns out that that thing you got–it was exactly what you were focusing on.

What are you focusing on?

What would need to happen in order for you to realize you care less about the failure than you do about the success?

Love,

Aaron

Knocking on Poe's Door
Knocking on Poe’s Door (Photo credit: edenpictures)