At some point in our lives, however briefly, all men are pick up artists.
Some men will unconsciously learn from a young age what makes women tick, and they’ll grow up pre-selected by women, never really struggling with dates or sex. These guys are called the “naturals.”
Some men never bother to learn at all, and many of these guys will still “luck out,” find a woman, and manage to pop out a couple kids during their lifetime.
And then there are the self-proclaimed pick up artists, like me.
For better or for worse, there exists a very real subculture of men who at some point, usually during our youth, we lost our way when it came to being naturally attractive to women.
Many of us come from deep wounding, from not feeling loved or lovable, from pathological sexual repression and shame.
Many of us felt neglected, abandoned and betrayed until the pain got deep enough and we got desperate enough to do something–anything–about it.
That’s my story anyway.
And it’s a common one.
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss was one of my favorite reads of all time.
It’s the story of a hopelessly loveless and sexless dude who discovers this secret society of men who through the study of part art, part science have dedicated their lives and, in many cases, their livelihood to mastering the art of seduction.
The book came out a full 10 years ago, and I’m slightly ashamed I’ve put off reading it until now. I would say that instead of reading the book, I’ve actually been going out to meet women (which is true), but I really don’t have any valid excuses.
It’s an awesome book, a fascinating story, and I’d say it’s at least 95% true.
I’m familiar with most of the pick up artists mentioned in the book, and I’ve met Tyler Durden on a few occassions. I took one of his Hot Seat programs a few years ago and saw him in Las Vegas last year.
So if you haven’t already ordered a copy of the book, do yourself a favor and read through it. You can grab a copy here.
One important caveat is that the book is now 10 years old, and “The Game” as it’s known and evangelized in the “pickup community” has changed from one more generally focused on seduction, canned routines and lines, to one much more centered around attraction.
Great pick up artists understand that attracting high quality women into our lives for the long term isn’t about seducing women. Attracting high quality women into our lives is simply the product of becoming high quality, naturally attractive men.
As David DeAngelo said 15 years ago, “Attraction is not a choice.”
But I’ll add that becoming more attractive IS a choice.
And a high quality, naturally attractive man is built, not born.
My life (and the lives of many of my friends) have been transformed through studying success.
And I’m not going to pretend that I’m studying success in business but not studying success in other areas of my life where I have desires.
Who has energy for pretense anymore anyway?
If you’ve got some goals and dreams, maybe you’ve had for a while, and you’re ready to stop procrastinating on achieving them, head over to the Life Coaching page, fill out the application for a free introductory session, and I’ll be in touch with you soon.