“The Game” by Neil Strauss Review + Video

At some point in our lives, however briefly, all men are pick up artists.

Some men will unconsciously learn from a young age what makes women tick, and they’ll grow up pre-selected by women, never really struggling with dates or sex. These guys are called the “naturals.”

Some men never bother to learn at all, and many of these guys will still “luck out,” find a woman, and manage to pop out a couple kids during their lifetime.

And then there are the self-proclaimed pick up artists, like me.

For better or for worse, there exists a very real subculture of men who at some point, usually during our youth, we lost our way when it came to being naturally attractive to women.

Many of us come from deep wounding, from not feeling loved or lovable, from pathological sexual repression and shame.

Many of us felt neglected, abandoned and betrayed until the pain got deep enough and we got desperate enough to do something–anything–about it.

That’s my story anyway.

And it’s a common one.

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss was one of my favorite reads of all time.

It’s the story of a hopelessly loveless and sexless dude who discovers this secret society of men who through the study of part art, part science have dedicated their lives and, in many cases, their livelihood to mastering the art of seduction.

The book came out a full 10 years ago, and I’m slightly ashamed I’ve put off reading it until now. I would say that instead of reading the book, I’ve actually been going out to meet women (which is true), but I really don’t have any valid excuses.

It’s an awesome book, a fascinating story, and I’d say it’s at least 95% true.

I’m familiar with most of the pick up artists mentioned in the book, and I’ve met Tyler Durden on a few occassions. I took one of his Hot Seat programs a few years ago and saw him in Las Vegas last year.

So if you haven’t already ordered a copy of the book, do yourself a favor and read through it. You can grab a copy here.

One important caveat is that the book is now 10 years old, and “The Game” as it’s known and evangelized in the “pickup community” has changed from one more generally focused on seduction, canned routines and lines, to one much more centered around attraction.

Great pick up artists understand that attracting high quality women into our lives for the long term isn’t about seducing women. Attracting high quality women into our lives is simply the product of becoming high quality, naturally attractive men.

As David DeAngelo said 15 years ago, “Attraction is not a choice.”

But I’ll add that becoming more attractive IS a choice.

And a high quality, naturally attractive man is built, not born.

My life (and the lives of many of my friends) have been transformed through studying success.

And I’m not going to pretend that I’m studying success in business but not studying success in other areas of my life where I have desires.

Who has energy for pretense anymore anyway?

If you’ve got some goals and dreams, maybe you’ve had for a while, and you’re ready to stop procrastinating on achieving them, head over to the Life Coaching page, fill out the application for a free introductory session, and I’ll be in touch with you soon.

Aaron

 

“Confessions of a Pick-Up Artist”–My Guest Post on the Blog “Penciled”

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I recently posted this article on my friend’s blog at www.penciledandpricked.blogspot.com Enjoy!

My name is Aaron Zauber, and I’m a pick-up artist.

I love what I do, and, unlike the many men/boys who hope that love will accidentally happen to them, or that financial wealth will accidentally happen to them, or that success (defined as: getting what they want) will accidentally happen to them, I don’t share a similar hope based on accident.

I personally do not believe that Life accidentally happened to me–I simply see too much Intelligent Design to believe otherwise–so I choose to live my life intentionally.

Every day I feel my intense desire and burning passion for a life well lived, for excellence, for enjoyment, for abundant peace, passion, freedom, fun, wealth, health, and love connection.

Part of what makes life wonderful for me is my relationships with women.

I fucking love beautiful women.

I also love fucking beautiful women.

And in my experience, I’ve noticed that the only thing creepier than learning how to be good with women is NOT learning how to be good with women.

Here’s an example of what many men do in this world in relation to women:

“Hey, baby, let me pretend I don’t feel attraction to you while I ask you what time it is and then I’ll stall for more time to keep you here with me while I fumble with questions to ask you so that you’ll maybe, hopefully, be interested in me and maybe I’ll accidentally say something funny and you’ll laugh and then we can maybe start hanging out and I’ll be such good friends with you for a few years and then one day after I’ve listened to you telling me about all your asshole boyfriends who don’t care about you and I’ve been your bestest-ever crying shoulder and supported you through so many things and always been there for you and stuff, and now that we’re alone in this room together and I’m drunk I guess I should probably tell you I love you and PULL OUT MY DICK! SURPRISE!!! I’VE GOT A DICK!”

Let’s face it. Creepiness is not cool.

Learning how to be good with women (and subsequently less creepy) is doing women a HUGE favor.

I know these skills can be learned, because I’ve learned it. I’ve gone from Lonely Loser to Lascivious Lover in a few years time, and I’ve had some of my most incredible and life-valuable experiences along the way. I’ve had many cosmic sexy times with beautiful women as well as some of the most incredible highs and lows of my life. Another side benefit of going out to meet beautiful women all the time is that I’ve even created and maintained some rewarding and fucking awesome friendships along the way with some cool-ass peeps like the author of this blog, Dara. 😉

To learn these skills, you must be willing to sit, crawl, walk, then run, in that order. Learning how to be naturally attractive is a process which takes time and dedication. In this process, it also helps to be prepared to fall down and stumble while learning.

This is so important. Do we look at babies learning how to walk who fall down while trying and then we proclaim, “Well, I guess this one’s going to be a crawler!” Of course not! We understand that experimentation is fundamental to the learning process, and it will take time and dedication.

So, I recommend to begin at the only place you can, where you currently are. It all starts with an intentional approach. And then another. And then another. Practice. Experiment. Practice. Experiment. You may find it helpful to treat it as a meditation, in the sense that as you develop your skills, you may find that you’ll always be compelled to come back to that deep sense of self and presence inside.

Are you willing to trade a little comfort for a little excitement?

Through this process of practicing the approach and then the “womenfolk” responding to you in differing ways based on your presence, your words and your actions, you’ll begin to learn this coveted and highly rewarding way of being, commonly referred to as: less of a Creeper, more of a Keeper.

Here’s to more Keepers.

Love,

Aaron